Jets Aren't Loveable; They're Just Losers -- Period

By The Lantern

It started out as a humorous release, one man's fun take on losing and the New York Jets. But now, it has morphed into something else entirely. It's "Jet Therapy" and in Part II the feelings go from kind-hearted jokes to full-out anger:

"The mind is a strange thing, men. We must begin by asking it ... What is losing? Losing is a disease … as contagious as polio. Losing is a disease … as contagious as syphilis. Losing is a disease … as contagious as bubonic plague … attacking one ... but infecting all.

"But curable!

"Now, I want you to imagine you are on a ship at sea ... on a vast … gently rocking … gently rocking … gently rocking … gently rocking. …" -- The Natural, 1984

In Times Of Jets Desperation, There's Always The Big Man In Red

By Kelli Burns

Well it’s that time of year again. One by one the Jets faithful have finally started throwing in the towel as their beleaguered team has gone into the toilet. It appears no amount of praying to the Great Almighty holds any traction as far as Jets Nation is concerned.

The Big Kahuna appears to have gone on Jets hiatus, preferring instead to leapfrog the plight of the little green battlers to instead deal with other more pressing issues -- like why Eggo’s are out of stock nationwide.

So with the Jets faithful clutching at their last remaining shred of pride, it’s time to make a last ditch plea to the one man who may possibly have the power to alter the trajectory of the Jets nosedive into true embarrassment. Yes, it's time to call upon the big guy himself. And I’m not talking about Rex Ryan. I mean the other, even bigger guy.

Santa Claus.

Sanchez Has His Faults, But Jets' Coaching Has Many More

By The Lantern

If patience is a virtue for most everyone, then impatience is a rite of passage for fans of the New York Jets.

This season  has taken the form of countless others. Hope and optimism has been smacked in the face by pessimism and despair. The usual old sayings about this team have once again been proven true.

So nothing has really changed and the most jaded among us, myself included, aren't terribly surprised. The Jets are that one part of our lives that takes away from all that is good. It is what it is. Many of us watch and we don't really even flinch anymore. I mean, sure, some younger fans have the gall to sound shocked by what they see on any given Sunday. And others like to pretend they are these wise souls who know pessimism and waiting for the other shoe to drop just defeats the purpose. But I believe those people are either living in a fantasy world or really aren't the true diehards they profess to be.

Because no one -- and I mean no one -- should be sitting there countless Sunday after countless Sunday saying, "Aw shucks. We'll get 'em next week."

That's as phony as it gets.

As Usual, 'Island Of Misfit Toys' Beckons Jets

By The Lantern

For a brief few minutes on Sunday I lost power in my house. I was sitting in the mancave helping my 6-year-old put together his Bionicle and watching the Jets. When the TV went black I felt a bit relieved. On some level I was thrilled because if the power stayed out I couldn't watch the Jets potentially lose another game they should have won.

But, alas, the good people at my local utilities were on top of their game this day. Power was restored in a few minutes and DirecTV rebooted itself.

The Jets, however, suffered from a power outage all afternoon and now have no hope of rebooting their season.

At 4-5 following an absolutely horrendous 24-22 loss to a Jacksonville club that had only managed to beat awful Tennessee twice, putrid St. Louis and equally bumbling Kansas City the Jets are finished for 2009.